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This bridge here has cute lion stone carving all over it. The detail of the bridge is impeccable and each lion carving is different from the other. It is so impressive that even the Great Explorer Marco Polo wrote about it in his books. (I think that is the only reason it is famous…) Most of the bridge is rebuilt and only a small part of the original bridge is left but it is a sight to see! Visit it if you happen to go to China.

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Conversationalist (n) - someone whose conversation is intelligent, amusing and interesting
From Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English

Basically, a conversationalist is someone that could really talk to you. To be a great conversationalist, one has to be well informed and as the definition imply, has all of the three qualities above. He must be provocative, yet not aggressive. A good conversationalist must be able to encourage others to talk as well. After all, what’s good is a conversation if only one person does all the talking.

Keeping this short, I would like to show you a good example of someone we could call a good conversationalist. He or she cut hair for a living. No kidding, I’m talking about your barber! Yes, those people are great conversationalist. OK, when you get your hair done, don’t your barber talks to you? Small talk, that is what they are great at. Great thing is that they can talk about anything under the sun. From politics to the latest “branded” durians, barbers are very adaptable and can “click” with anyone of their customers. Observe the way they talk, they don’t brush you off. Best of all, they have the uncanny ability to find the topic you’d like to talk about and once they do, wham, you’ll start talking, making it an active two way conversation!(Probably something personal to you or everyone’s favorite topic, politics!) A good conversationalist need not necessary do all the talking as I said before. The true conversation only occurs when both person are active in conversation, making the barber one of the greatest conversationalist ever.

The barber gets his or her information for conversation from the everyday conversations with his or her customers. Since we’re all “experts” of some subjects, we tend to talk about that topic and thus giving the barber titbits of information. Consider that the barber talks with at least 30 customers a day, 210 a week and 630 a month, that titbits of infomation becomes something big. It is no wonder the barber is able to talk about anything. In a single year, the barber has probably heard about 2520 pieces of conversation from all sorts of topics, from all sorts of viewpoints. The barber’s viewpoint is very adaptable as with that many viewpoints he or she has, the barber can talk about a single subject in so many ways possible. Amazing!

Think about it next time you get a haircut!

Have you ever come across people that seem to be so closed minded that when you talk to them, it is like talking to a brick wall? It is like this, these people come along and you strike up a conversation with them. What they say, sometimes you do not agree and you argue back with your own point. Really, there are some things that you know better than them in some fields, perhaps geography. The fellow beside you is trying to say that the capital of China is Shanghai, while everyone knows that is Beijing. The problem is, no matter how much you tell him or her so, the fellow just wouldn’t accept it. The fellow’s mind is so fixated of the fact that he or she is correct, not willing to accept the possibilities of getting the facts wrong. Only when you show the person the map and then he or she will succumb to your argument. Concrete evidence is needed to convince stubborn-headed people like these. Sometimes, even with the facts and all, the person may not even come to an agreement with you, no matter how right you are. Now, isn’t that just utterly annoying. I mean, he or she has no valid reason not to agree with you. You have given him or her solid evidence and yet denial still happens. The person will probably come up with some stupid excuse like for this case, that Shanghai may be a capital in the ancient times or about how you didn’t phrase your question correctly, resulting in him or her answering wrongly. Even a 6-year old can’t be fooled by crappy smokescreens like these. Come on, if you’re wrong just admit it.

Consider this, maybe the person has realized his or her mistake in the matter and may be trying to save face. In the Chinese society especially, saving face (or pride) is important in keeping one’s stature in the community. No one likes to admit his or her mistake as he or she thinks she will look stupid. Think about it, what if it was you whom gets corrected? How will you react? To save pride, that I can understand, but there is still one more that is so ignorant that it just gets you really frustrated when you talk to them. Dogmatic, that is the only way to describe them.

So, next time when you correct someone, always think about his or her pride. Say something like that you may also may be wrong with the facts to put yourself at the same communication level with him or her. Think about it, to insist that someone is wrong is a form of threat or force, normal causing the other person to act aggressively in defence and even more stubborn. Secondly, always give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Although you know how wrong the person is, still agree with parts of it. Thirdly, give your opinions in terms of suggestion rather than by force. Ever notice how wars solve little compared to what great diplomacy can do? Same concept applies. There is no point in forcing the other person to accept your ideas. Even if you manage to do so, bitterness ensues and the other person may resent your idea even more no matter how right you are dues to the simple fact that he or she hates you. This will result in causing the plague of thinking without rationalizing what we know as prejudice, the root of numerous major problems in the world.

For some things, some people are dogmatic about it. Religion for one is a sensitive issue and no matter how you rationalize that some concepts are wrong, the other person’s opinion will rarely be changed. Principles are like so too, it is the way people live by and changing it after hearing a person speak would be a remarkable feat, even for the most experienced speakers. However, for most other thing, we should keep an open mind. Being the humans that we are, we are bound to be wrong once in a while. So, put your pride away and admit that you’re wrong when you are. What is a little pride in turn for knowledge that can last you a lifetime? We can learn much through others in our everyday conversations and should be grateful for that. If you’re not sure whether you’re wrong or not, it is better for you to say something like; “Hmm…you know Bob, you may be right also/too!” The word “also/too” here allows you to save a bit of pride giving a sense that you may be not wrong. But for definite matters, it is better to admit that you’re wrong and check the matter out yourself to get the facts right.

Final word: There are some idiots that will always insist they are right every time. Whether you’re the one talking or the other is, it is better not to engage conversation with people like these. Don’t bother correcting them, if they want to stay on as idiots then fine, leave them be. To prove a point is one of the habits of pride, an ego boosting activity. Prove a point with the intention of helping others or as a work duty (supervisors especially), that should be the true reason. If unsuccessful, back off (if it is not so important). The “try, try and try again” attitude will probably give you a black eye or worse, lose a friend. Respect other’s opinion and remember to put yourself in their shoes, try to think from their standpoint. Perhaps, maybe, you are the one that is wrong, who knows? Hah!

China, a place that intertwines the ancient with the modern world. A couple of days ago, I was given the opportunity to visit Beijing, the heart and soul of Mainland China. Departing from Penang to KL and flying to China via Malaysia Airlines, my journey began with a long 6 hour flight.

Beijing, like Penang, is laden with old and new architectures together, giving a contrast to how far the Chinese race has gone in history. Strangely, there are few bikers here, most of the people here prefer bicycles rather than to bikes. Cars here are a plenty as well, a lot of local brands and Volkswagens.

Upon arriving, my tour began with lunch. The food here is really, really oily. Greasy vegetable and greasy meat coupled with tasteless soup was the dishes of the day. I think that saying of how great Chinese food is just an over-statement, take my word for it, it was OK only. But, one must know that the Chinese associated wealth with the amount of oil put in the food. In the olden days of China, oil was very expensive and only the ministers and high ranking officers use lavish amounts of oil in their food, indicting how wealthy they are. The only thing not oily was the sliced fruits for dessert!

Since I was only taking an 8 day tour, thing were packed and we had to dash from one place to another, not really having much time to enjoy the real China. However, this is not my first time to China and I can tell you that China is too commercialized. Between every few places on the tour’s itinerary was place that were not mentioned but had to go. Tour group that visit China are made compulsory to go to these locations by the authorities. So, we wasted a lot of time in places like the Crystal Factory, Jade Factory, Enamel Factory, Pearl Shop, Tea Shop and Medicine Shop. The common thing about all this places mentioned, is the M-factor! Yes, they want to suck your wallet bone dry. One thing is for sure, the marketing hype is really amazing here. The Medicine shop for example, demonstrated how great the Medicine is by having the salesman burn his hand on a hot piece of metal and then putting the medicine on his hand to heal it. No, no trickery involved here, the poor guy actually burns his hands on the metal. The effectiveness of the medicine? Now, that is questionable. Then there was the tea shop. After the nice shop lady gave out samples and told us of the wonders of drinking each type of tea, she then tell us that only on today, she’ll give us a special offer. She then proceeds to take a pre-filled box of tea, and forces to put more tea in it, over-packing the box. Then, she says that she will sell you over-packed one for the same price as normal packed ones, for the same price, only on this day. What you people don’t know is that she does this everyday, everyday is that “special offer day”, a great marketing gimmick if you ask me. Each and every shop had its own gimmick, trying to trick you into buying the goods, when you can get the same thing (authentic) outside for a fraction of the price.

Not all the food is bad, there are some really tasty like the photo up there. That, my friends, is deep fried silkworms on a skewer, now that is delicious. Tasted like pork liver if you asked me. They put a lot of spice on the worms and it tasted great when hot. The only downside was that you have to spit the shells out after chewing the whole mass. Then the snake wine was not bad, I can’t tell because I don’t drink much alcoholic drinks. It tasted like brandy, a nice cooling sensation after drinking it. Beijing duck was alright, it was like roasted suckling pork, only difference being that it was a duck. You eat it by wrapping pieces of crunchy duck skin with meat into thin flour cakes with pieces of leek and a dash of plum sauce. (Think, kebab and pita bread)

The great wall is a sight to behold, spanning over 6,700km and being the only man made structure visible from space. Emperor Shih Huang Ti created the wall by joining up existing walls build by previous empires like connecting the dots. Here’s a great link to the info a bout the great walls:

Great Wall of China: Includes detailed history, sections introduction and pictures of the Great Wall.

The greatest joy in China one can find does not lies in the architectures, but is the shopping!!! China is a great place to shop, provided you picked up the necessary skill needed to bargain. At least ask for a 75% discount in initiating bargaining, anything less and you have probably been ripped of. For example, a saw a shirt priced at RMB180 (USD23). After slight negotiation, the price dropped to RMB50 (USD6). Scary…

One of the best methods to negotiate is to walk away if the price is too high after stating the price you want. The condition is that you are willing to let it go if you cannot get the price desired. The shopkeeper will probably shout reducing prices at you, like a countdown towards the New Year. If you cannot get the price, don’t fret, there will probably be dozen of shop selling the same item. Remember the lowest price of the first shopkeeper that shouted at you, it is handy as reference when bargaining with another dealer. Also note that by buying in mass amounts, chances are better for getting a good deal

An example of a conversation
You: How much is this?

Shopkeeper A: RMB500

You: That is too expensive. I want RMB100

Shopkeeper A: What? No way. I give you RMB250

You: You give me RMB100 each, I buy 2

Shopkeeper A: No. RMB230

(You walk away)

Shopkeeper A: I give you RMB200

Shopkeeper A: I give you RMB170

Shopkeeper A: @#&*#@!!!(Shouts something bad at you in Mandarin, indicating end of bargaining)

Note: Maybe the price you ask for is too low. Try raising it a bit with the next dealer

Then you go to Shopkeeper B

You: I want to buy this. How much?

Shopkeeper B: RMB600

You: I want for RMB100

Shopkeeper B: No can do. RMB450

You: That fellow offered me RMB170

Shopkeeper B: RMB100 cannot. I give you RMB150

You: RMB120

Shopkeeper B: No.

You: RMB120, I buy 2

Shopkeeper B: OK.
(Alas, a deal is made. A concession has been achieved!)

Alright, once you do this your position is deadlocked, means you cannot pull out now. Doing so will result in curses so vulgar in Mandarin that it hurts you even though you don’t understand a word the dealer has just said.
And that is the general rules of bargaining in China.

China’s people love to spit. Only at the time when SARS became an outbreak did they stop and considered it unclean. After that however, they continued proving that once again old habits die hard. The floor is laden with spit so watch you step as you walk around the street of China.

Always be on the lookout for bicycles as they are silent and roam the walkways. Before you know it, BAM, you’re run over by one. Worst part is that the Chinaman that ran you over will probably grab you by the collar to scold you. They don’t really care who is right or wrong legally, all he know is that you made him fall of his bicycle. Fight back and be prepared to face mob justice by the local.So, let him talk all he wants and leave the area ASAP!

And that is CHINA for you!!!

Pic: Taken at the Great Wall. See those cars down there, that’s where you start. Guess how high I am now!!! Nice view and less crowded up here!!!